Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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