I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize