I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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