She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
