You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
