yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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