he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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