We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
