I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
