lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Randomize
