I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
