I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize