I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
