Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
