in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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