guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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