I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
