i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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