dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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