Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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