forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
