You're my little dorito
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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