Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
