he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
