its not stalking. its research.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
