at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
