Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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