awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize