i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
