you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's rum buckets o'clock
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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