I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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