Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
