Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just forgot I was standing up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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