just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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