I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
