this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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