your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
