i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
