I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
no you cant smoke seaweed
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
