so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
