Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
two words: eviction party
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
