Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
