i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
