Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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