my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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