if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
