i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
