I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
