Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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