I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
