I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
