They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
