Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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