I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want to make out with him forever
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
