Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
