the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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