You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am naked and annoyed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
