I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
