u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
