Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
