This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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