You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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