Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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