I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
