maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
