so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Randomize
